Tuesday Tid-Bits

Tuesday Tid-Bits:

- Today is NHL Trade Deadline Day – which elicits variations of the “nudey magazine day” dance done by Billy Madison - unless you reside in Pittsburgh and just traded a promising defensemen (Noah Welch) for a 40 year old who has only as many goals as Michelle Ouellet. This really doesn’t make much sense. Forcing the world’s best hockey player to wear cement laced skates so his teammates can keep up is definitely on the bottom half of my list of things to do as a hockey GM.

- Pittsburgh Pirates majority owner Bob Nutting addressed the team at their spring training home of Bradenton, Fla. yesterday, assuring players that all of the Pirates’ monetary resources were being spent on player salaries. This is like being diagnosed with cancer and spending all your money on Tylenol. The Pirates are near the very bottom of the rankings in Minor League talent level and for a team that cannot lure a free agent to PNC Park, they are seriously misallocating their (few) resources. It would make more sense for Nutting to admit his disinterest in fielding a competitive team and let Jim Tracy motivate the players with a naked cut-out of the owner which can only be covered up fully by winning 98 games. It worked for Pedro Serrano and Willy Mays Hays, and it can work in Pittsburgh.

- “Pacman” Jones is obviously in a lot of trouble. Not surprising when you douse a stage with approximately $80,000 in cash, beat up a stripper, and Don King a gun fight. (PS these events apparently transpired in succession – amazing. That is AT LEAST a three month period for Stephen Jackson.) Maybe more interesting is the report as to why he popped a pole dancer. Apparently Jones employs the “Make it Rain” technique in viewing naked women. He throws multiple denominations of American currency into the air allowing it flutter onto the stage around the feet of the not-so-tiny dancers. The dancers must continue to dance until Jones gives them the go-ahead to pickup their bounty. One over zealous dancer decided to snatch (stop) up some of the cash a bit early, and caught some fists in her face for her trouble. This ignited a massive altercation that led to gunfire. Next time Jones does this he will throw a pack of cigarettes towards a bench and a she-male in orange will be hard pressed to keep from picking them up. Good luck Mr. Jones, let’s hope you don’t find a Ms. Pacman where you are going.

- At least three incidents of “praying hands” style thank you’s were seen by my eyes in the two days since the Oscars.

- http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/02/27/washington.faked.retardation.ap/index.html Apparently nobody had to teach Ms. Costello. Good luck in hell! Bring me back something French!