Joust '07: The Beginnings

In the pantheon of Mancations, there is one trip to rule them all. And as the torch bearer for these manly trips, I submit the following.

The Cast – Bazz, Diddy, Edgar, Hoss, Bass, Dom C., Lang and Joe Siz
The Destination – Pinehurst, North Carolina
The Reason – To do battle on 2 of the top 10 golf courses in America, plus another one that while not in the top 10 is very nice nonetheless. Seriously, it is pretty nice. I promise.

In planning the trip, my buddy Diddy and I originally meant for this to be a small weekend golf trip. 72 holes over 72 hours. It was to be void of the usual temptations that seem to follow our annual Ryder Cup event (which ran for 3 years of high school, took a 4 year hiatus, and has now returned for the past 3 years). Basically, we wanted to avoid making this a drinking trip. We failed. Miserably. And it turned out to be the best thing possible.

We had decided on the destination pretty early. The number of people and format kind of came together after we sent out a massive e-mail stating the first 5 people to respond would be guaranteed a spot (as Diddy, Hoss, and I were already in). Thankfully, 5 legends stepped forward. Teams were drafted shortly thereafter. The Wolfpack, led by Diddy, and consisting of Joe Siz, Lang, and Edgar would take on Angelina’s Orphans, led by yours truly, and consisting of Dom C., Bass, and Hoss. A special thanks here needs to be paid to Tin Cup Golf in Pinehurst for assisting in planning the logistics of the trip which allowed us to play Tobacco Road, Tot Hill Farm, and The Carolina (twice) during the trip.

After the trip was in the books, we needed a name. This was to be the first in an annual golf pilgrimage to various spots throughout the world and we needed a name befitting of such an event. Diddy and I set to work on this and after a lengthy brainstorming session settled on Joust ’07: A Piece of Pinehurst. It was originally going to be named after The Alabama song Dixieland Delight, but not wanting to pigeon hole ourselves into a southern trip every year, we went generic. And it works. It does. As a side note, watch the Alabama video constantly and memorize the second verse. You know, the one starting with “White tail buck deer, munching on clover. Red tail hawk, sitting on a limb.” It is genius. And the video should win an award every year for the rest of existence in the “Best Example of Picking up A Woman and Spinning Around” category. Actually, pay special attention to the run that occurs towards the camera after one of the spin arounds. While I’m at it, I am nominating this video for best video of all time. Here’s why. Various bearded men picking leaving various jobs (including one at a lumber yard and one at what has to be a General Store) to pick up various women in different places in what is seemingly the same red 4-door pickup truck. There is an almost constant uncomfortable undercurrent to the video which features multiple scenes in which one of the bearded men runs awkwardly and a man in a 44 jersey who is a cross between Axl Rose and Tawny Kitaen. Plus, who hasn’t dreamt of sneaking up on a woman in white feeding chickens, almost tackling her, spinning around and then running? You are lying if you say you haven’t. Wow. That escalated quickly.

Sorry for the tangent. The weeks leading up to the trip helped to validate Microsoft Outlook and various other e-mail agents as viable forms of communication. We exchanged over 934571235 MB’s of poo talking and planning for a three day trip. Somewhere in the middle of the trash talk a plan was hatched by the Wolfpack to impose some mental intimidation on Angelina’s Orphans. Theories on whose idea it was range from the Germans to Steven Tyler. In the end, I believe it was someone on the Wolfpack. Regardless, a few weeks before our departure date of May 24th, Dom C called my cell phone with news of the idea from our adversaries. Apparently Joe Siz had a little too much truth serum one night, and volunteered an idea of putting pictures of Bass’ sister on the Wolfpack team golf ball. Joe is an accountant by trade and a body builder by night. Days of creatine and calculators apparently left him vulnerable and a few swigs of fire water loosened his lips long enough for Angelina’s Orphans to decode the plans like we were using an enigma machine. Springing to action, Bass organized the Orphans for a real Shock and Awe campaign against the Wolfpack. We were still over a week away from leaving.

It has been said that the time you spend waiting for a battle is the truest test of character. I don’t know who said that, but I’m sure someone did. If they didn’t, I’d like credit for it. Anyways, with this being the case, all of our characters are currently in question. But the week leading up to Joust ’07 really did feel like at least a half of an eternity. Clubs were cleaned, bags were packed, trash was talked, directions Mapquested. All that stood between the players of Joust ’07 and glory was …….. 8 hours of driving.